Why Damnit Why?
Have you ever contemplated the ageless question… why do we exist? Why are we here on planet earth? What are we supposed to accomplish here?
We have been inundated over the years with many ancient mysteries such as the Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot, Stonehenge, the Mayan Calendar, the great pyramids of Egypt, Stonehenge, Easter Island, Atlantis, cats and women just to mention a few, and there is plenty of evidence that there was an extremely advanced civilization 5,000 years before our history says modern humans even appeared on earth.
Yet here we sit in the 21rst century with close to 2.5 million years of human history to guide us and we can’t even force ourselves to believe the facts and that in itself is… a mystery. We can’t even begin to solve the mystery of women yet alone the Great Pyramids!
Someone once said that “Life is a mystery waiting to be soiled…” or was that solved? Hmmm… seems like both to me; while some humanoids do indeed strive to unlock the mysteries of life, others continue just to ‘soil’ all over theirs contaminating the rest of us!
Even though these life’s mystery soilers are not suitable candidates for mystery solving achievement awards, I must admit when I soil myself it’s always a mystery!
Some mysteries are more important to decipher than others like why does lint always find its way into my jean pockets when in the washer? Lint doesn’t end up in my shirt pockets, just the jeans!
Why damnit Why?
Or why is it that after I turned 50 I finally started to grow hair again… in all the wrong places? Nostril hairs still have me baffled! You can trim them and yank them yet two days later they’re back and a quarter inch longer!
Why damnit Why?
Other things continue to mystify me on a daily basis like if around 90 per cent of the world’s population is right-handed, and it is easier for right-handers to button shirts from the right, why do women’s garments button from the left while men’s button from the right? This is totally unacceptable!
While we’re on the subject why do women wear high heels? I mean they all complain that high heels are really uncomfortable and make walking more difficult, so why do they keep wearing them? You don’t see men going around wearing jock-straps do you?
Another mystery that concerns me is that the numbers on a phone verses the numbers on a calculator… are reversed? This has puzzled me for years! And I still find it absurd that the cost of a funeral has risen by 50%, and it’s blamed on the cost of living! Really?
Here’s one mystery that I’m happy to report has been solved; Stress! Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize that you haven’t fallen asleep yet! I hate it when that happens!
Then when looking through some old photos I contemplated that I used to be dark and handsome, now only when it’s dark I’m handsome! What the…? Why damnit Why?
~ Snarp
