Snarp Alert… Level 4!
ATTENTION… ATTENTION…
THIS IS NOT A DRILL…
THIS IS A LEVEL 4 SNARP ALERT!
Ladies and Gentlemen it is very likely that there is a new strain of Egobuttiteous on the loose in your neighborhood at this very moment! He could be in your stores, workplace or even in your home posing as a real human being but make no mistake about it, he is an Egobutt, and he is out to invade your space… to eat your brain!
Most Egobutts are easy to spot under normal circumstances and we avoid them daily without many problems. The evil little imps infect us through their feces which they leave behind in our brains after the initial attack has been implemented.
Symptoms of attempted infestation are normally easy to detect, and our fight or flight defense mechanisms kick in and we are able ward them off or run away to avoid total infestation. This new strain, however, has found away to get past our defenses, block our ability to run away, thus leaving us vulnerable to attack!
You’ll know that you are under this new hybrid Egobutt attack when you suddenly feel unable to deal with certain people that before the attack was no problem for you. These are people you normally associate with Egobutt infestation and can avoid without any repercussions.
This new strain of Egobuttiteous however has given them new attack strategies, supplying them with new infestation abilities that they implement immediately and attack without mercy.
I only became aware of this new strain of Egobuttiteous while trying to protect the entrance of the “caverns” as I normally do with a tennis racket. Whenever one of these creeps would try to throw a bit of feces at me, I’d just lob it right back at them aiming for their foreheads which usually would knock them on their asses and they would run away in fear.
But this latest attack came unexpectedly.
“What the…“
At first I thought I was being attacked by a group of feeble minded Neanderthals, but to my surprise, there was only one feeble minded Neanderthal attacker, shooting his little poop balls at me out of a Potato Gun!
I grabbed another tennis racket but even with both arms flinging so wildly it would appear that I had dragon fly wings, the pelting was so intense that it allowed the attacking Egobutt to successfully cause a cave in to the entrance of the “Deep Cavernous Mind of Snarp Farkle”!
I gasped at the damage as my attacker walked away snickering, blowing the smoke out of the barrel of his potato gun.
“A newcomer to the caverns eh!”, I said as I started to clear the debris. “Well now, whoever let him out of his little rubber room is in big trouble!”
I issued this SNARP ALERT as I work on my strategies for a counter attack so you’ll be aware that there is a “Feeble Minded Neanderthal Butt Head” with an “Over-Inflated-Asinine-Starving Ego” on the loose!
Egobutt for short!
There should be a law that limits the amount of ignorance one is allowed to expel in a single lifetime!
~ Snarp
