Pigeon Poop Wisdom!

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; foolish men talk because they have to say something” – Plato

Wisdom… The problem with wisdom is, we all want it, we all need it, but we don’t it get until just AFTER we need it. 

So I thought I’d share some “Snarp Wisdom” with you to help you be somewhat prepared in the event that you are under the “Wretched Wisdom Attack”, and don’t know what to say.

What is the “Wretched Wisdom Attack”?

Ever have someone say to you, “A word for the wise…”, and then proceed to fill you in on what will happen to you if you DON’T take their advice?

It’s never just one word… is it?  And I doubt very strongly that they consider you “wise” in the first place, because if they did, well then they would have nothing to say… would they?

Oh no, it’s usually several words, and if their eyes are squinting and they’re pointing a sharp object in your direction… MOM, then you know it’s just time to let them vent; doing anything else just prolongs the “Wretched Wisdom Attack”!

Under no circumstances cover your eyes with your hands and run out of the room screaming like a little girl.  Chances are you will run into the doorway and knock yourself out! 

When you wake up, or they catch up with you, you will find the sharp object closer to your face and the “word for the wise” suddenly becomes the “word for the fool who thought he could get away with it”!

Lying is probably what got you into this mess to begin with.  It’s easier to tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything!

It has been said that: – “Wisdom is accepting that some days you’re the pooping pigeon and some days you’re the pooped covered statue.”  So if you find yourself under attack by someone equipped with “Wretched Wisdom”, guess what… you’re the pooped covered statue, and they are the pooping pigeon, stay still and let them poop!

This doesn’t mean you can’t have some fun while being smothered with pigeon poop wisdom.  If you are clever enough you just might be able to induce “pooping pigeon constipation” on them!

Try saying; “What was the last thing you said just before the first time you said it?”  Then before they can recover say “Look, I’ve learned my lesson, I know that a spoon doesn’t know the taste of soup, and the early worm gets eaten.”

Keep going… keep going… “I also know not to fry bacon in the nude, that crowded elevators smell different to midgets, and to never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.”

At this point you have just stuck the proverbial cork in the pigeons butt and you can safely turn and walk away knowing that your attacker has just gained some of your “Pigeon Poop Wisdom”…

“Never argue with a wiser fool. You might not know which one you are!”

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key!

~Snarp
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