Oh You Little Mother…
This article appeared in the
North Coast Voice Magazine:
Vol.9 – Issue 8 • May 6 – May 20, 2009
Well it’s that time again; no I’m not going into my rant about spring cleaning again, even though I DO seem to have accumulated as much, if not more stuff than I got RID of last year! It’s kind of creepy… it’s like it just appears every spring and then we have to deal with it all over again!
No, I’m referring to Mother’s Day and lucky for you I’m forewarning you now so you can get out there and do whatever it is you’re supposed to do for your mother. And you better do it right or she’ll send you strait to your room!
It was sad when my neighbor told me that his mother died over the winter. I said “Wow… did she hate winter that much?” He just looked at me as if I was some kind of an idiot, then smiled and said “You’re and idiot!” (I get that a lot!) “But Mom would have liked you.”
Now I realize that not everybody’s mother is still living. So you’re going to have to improvise… I’ll rent you mine for $10! Hey for another $5 I’ll throw in my Pops too! They’re a HOOT!
Now last year my Mother warned me never to write an article that included her. So being the good son that I am guess what I’m doing!
That’s right MOM, not only did I include you in this article, I even wrote you a song! Feel free to sing this to your mom wherever she is!
Think of the “Smothers Brothers” on “Laugh In” when singing this!
Ok,Everybody Lets Sing!
The chorus:
Boom-pa Boom-pa-Boom-pa-Boom-pa…
Oh you little mother,
You’re only three feet tall,
You’re not like any other,
As you waddle down the hall!
You think that you can spank me,
You think that you’re so tough,
Someday you will thank me,
For all this crazy stuff!
First verse:
Boom-pa Boom-pa-Boom-pa-Boom-pa…
I’m a big boy now you darling,
And I don’t want you to fret,
When I wake up in the morning,
My bed’s no longer wet!
I no longer have to go to school,
So leave my ears alone,
You may think that it’s so cool,
To twist them to the bone!
Oh you little mother,
You’re only three feet tall,
You’re not like any other,
As you waddle down the hall!
You think that you can spank me,
You think that you’re so tough,
Someday you will thank me,
For all this crazy stuff!
Second verse:
Boom-pa Boom-pa-Boom-pa-Boom-pa…
I wish you still baked cookies,
I wish you still baked bread,
I glad you shaved your goatee,
But not about your head!
No longer can you chase me,
No longer can you strut,
Slower than a snail you be,
No taller than my butt!
Oh you little mother,
You’re only three feet tall,
You’re not like any other,
As you waddle down the hall!
You think that you can spank me,
You think that you’re so tough,
Someday you will thank me,
For all this crazy stuff!
Just brings a tear to my eye!
Happy Mother’s Day to all you little Mothers!
~ Snarp
