Now You’ve Done It!
I am writing this article on Halloween Eve and what fun… after attending a masquerade party this weekend we’ll be able attend another one on Election Day!
No-No-No… DO NOT wear a costume when you go to vote, that’s reserved for the political candidates, you could be mistaken for a one and be hounded by thousands of “Electacians” (ee-lek-tay-shuns) hoping for a surprise visit from their favorite candidate!
You’ll know if one shows up, just look for someone dressed up like a snake, earth worm, or maybe a cockroach. Or like the current president who wore a Howdy Doody
Hmmm… hard to tell if he ever took it off! I mean he still looks like Howdy Doody… still talks like Howdy Doody… still acts like Howdy Doody and still has someone else pulling his strings!
How sad… poor little Georgie will be out of the house… what will he do? Wait a minute… we’ll have to pay up the nose to keep him safe for the rest of his life! Huh… that’s Doody Tax!
You’ll know if Macain and Palin show up at your voting booth, just look for someone dressed up like a Medicare worker following someone dressed up like an old shoe!
Or if you see someone dressed up like Lurch from the Adams Family holding a leash to a six foot Mexican Chihuahua… you guessed it… it’ll be Biden with Obama in the lead!
Oh no… wait… what am I saying? By the time you read this it… it will be too late… you’ll already be holding your heads in your hands and crying, “What have I done?” Well here we go again, I just got use to the eight year puppet show and now what?
“What’s that?” Hold on folks… I’ve just been asked by the editors to predict the outcome of the election!
Oooo that’s a tough one… hmm… if I’m right I’ll be thought of as one of the brightest and most knowledgeable persons on the planet… but if I’m wrong… ooo that could be ugly! I’d be laughed at and ridiculed for years… hmm… well I’m already ridiculed and laughed at now, what the heck let’s give it a try!
I will seek the advice of my trusted Oracle… “Probabilius the Psychotic Psychic”! He’ll know what to do, he’s never steered me wrong yet… can’t you tell? Let’s go find him!
The sign above the door of the Oracle’s Tabernacle is made of large wooden letters painted gold, “PPP”, and the “Asking Chair” is stationed along the South side. That’s where you sit to “ask” your question. I get goose bumps every time I come here! The Tabernacle sort of resembles one of those closets that priests sit in for confessions, okay so it’s a converted out house, who cares he’s brilliant!
“Probabilius!” “Probabilius!” “I’ve come to seek your wisdom!” “Sit my son… feed the pig… ask your question.” Feeding the pig is putting a twenty in a piggy bank. “Probabilius, who will be the next president?” A short pause then… “Probability is 75%”.
“What the… well then will Obama be the next president?” Then I hear, “Feed the pig”. Damn another twenty, “There, what’s your answer?” “Probability is 50%”. “Oh come on, I already knew that, who’s it going to be?” then, “Feed the pig”. “I oughta…” “There that’s it, no more feeding the pig, who’s going to be the next president… moron?” Then he says… “Probability is 100%”. Well there you have it the next president… will be… a moron!
~ Snarp
