I learned something new from Jimmy The Geek who told me that a guy, we’ll call Carlos, explained that the Spanish way to say Jesus is “Hay-SOOS” and it was derived from the days when the Greeks called out to the god Zeus.  They’d say “Hey Zeus” when they wanted Gods attention!

Now that is purely original, wish I’d thought of that one, Hee-Hee-Hee!

For those of you who are offended by the above statement, all I got to say is; how dare you be offended by my offensive offensiveness!  It is not my fault if you are offended by my offensiveness, in fact I am offended that you are offended and you should be ashamed of your offensive self!

Alrighty then… if you recall I ended my last article with “if you take any stock in the Mayan calendar crap then this will be your last holiday season before the earth blows up…” this got me to thinkin!

Thoughts of doom and gloom sparked my curiosity and caused an electrical storm in my deep… cavernous… mind!  And if I had any hair it would have been standing on end from all the static electricity that was being generated!

So get tihis… if interpretations of the Mayan calendar are correct, the earth will be all blowed up next December 21rst thus totally ruining Christmas!

“Oh my HeyZeus!  What should I do?”

Like 173 Super Balls bouncing around in a dryer my thoughts of really partying it up this holiday season, since it will be the last, started to gain some momentum!  After all it will be really hard to celebrate once we’re all just particles of cosmic dust floating out in space so I think we should PARTY NOW!

Time to investigate…

The Mayan calendar marks the end of a 5,126-year cycle around 12-21-2012.  In the Mayan calendar, the long calendar count begins in 3,114 BC and is divided into roughly 394-year periods called Baktuns. Mayans held the number 13 sacred and the 13th Baktun ends next year.

Okay… but that’s not a good enough excuse to let loose this holiday season… yet!

Hmm… every other doomsday prediction has obviously come and gone without the earth blowing up, and a just as happened then a whole slew of carpetbaggers are already cashing in with 2012 survival kits, “Doomsday 2012″ T-shirts and a “Complete Idiots Guide to 2012″, I need one of those!

Catastrophic predictions include a polar shift, the impact of a great meteor or asteroid, earthquakes, the reduction of the earth’s magnetic field, the extinction of many species, or global annihilation brought on by man’s relentless greed triggering war and destruction!

Of course none of these predictions are based on archeology, anthropology, or even astronomy and as it turns out the Mayans never said anything about the end of the world or anything about a great change in the universe on that date, there is no prophecy for 2012; it’s just a deceptive marketing ploy.

Who cares let’s PARTY NOW ANYWAYS!

~ Snarp

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