May Day… May Day!
May is an odd month; at least this one has been so far. May brings us May Day, Cinco De Mayo, Armed Forces Day, Mothers Day, and Memorial Day.
Of these five days of observance, or reasons to party, May Day has captured my attention the most this year.
I mean “may day… may day… may day…” is used as an emergency code word internationally as a distress signal to alert others that a person is in grave and imminent danger and requires immediate assistance.
Ever wonder why?
Well scientifically May Day marks the end of the winter half of the year in the Northern hemisphere. However it may be best known for its tradition of naked ladies dancing around a pole… WHOO-HOO!
But May Day was also celebrated by some early settlers of America. It was an odd tradition of placing small baskets filled with flowers or treats on someone’s doorstep, ringing the bell and then running away!
The person receiving the basket would try to catch the fleeing giver. If they caught the person, they’d have to kiss them.
Hmmm… this could be interesting! I can see myself leaving baskets at quite a few hot ladies’ doorsteps, ringing the door bell, and instead of running away, just stand there… eyes closed… lips puckered… waiting for that kiss, and if I’m lucky maybe a little tongue!
That would be just swell!
Hmmm… wait a minute… what if the hot lady wasn’t home at the time? I could be standing there all puckered up for hours! Better bring some “chap stick”!
One thing for sure if I see little baskets scattered all around the yard I’d better just move on to the next name on the list. Chances are that this hottie has a guard dog trained to answer the door!
I could be tongued by Marma Duke for crying out loud! “UCKKY POO!”
Or worse yet she could sic her gay brother on me! Ewew!
Or even worseorer… she could hire Harriet the smelly, homeless lady with leaking puss sacks all over her lips to answer the door!
“AHHH! AHHH! THAT’S NOT SALIVA! AHHH! GET IT OFF ME! AHHH!
Whoo-boy… that just gave me the willies! OMG I think I’m gonna be sick! Why… why do I corrupt the caverns with such stuff?
Well, with that nasty thought in mind, I guess I’d want my eyes open and I’d probably want to carry a two-way radio to call a guy waiting in a get-a-way car WITH some antiseptic wipes… just in case!
“MAY DAY… MAY DAY… MAY DAY… GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!”
So my theory is that this international distress call of grave and imminent danger requiring immediate assistance, actually originated by some poor misguided settler who left baskets on the wrong doorsteps!
Can you see now why this tradition never made it into the twenty first century?
I’d just ruin it for the rest of you!
~Snarp
www.SnarpFarkle.com
