Lick Your Elbow!
I found some interesting information about the bipedal humanoid species inhabiting this planet, (that would be us), so I thought I would share my findings on a one of the more intriguing subjects.
For instance, the statistics on sanity state that one out of every four persons is suffering from some form of mental illness.
That’s a very bold statement, and it would suggest that 1,704,225,000 of our fellow humanoid bipeds are suffering in this way! So how can we be sure that we are not the one out of four who are nuts?
Well one technique to keep in check would be to think about your three closest friends, or family members, if they seem okay, then you know it’s you! Heh-heh!
Don’t fret if you find that it is you who is “out to lunch” though; this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Like I’ve said before, if everybody was n-n-n-normal, this would be a very boring world!
In fact if you use this technique often, you will see that everybody gets a turn at being “one fry short of a Happy Meal”. Sometimes it’ll be your turn; it happens… it’s okay!
Look, by the using the statistics above, your gonna go bonkers at least 90 days out of the year anyways so why not make the best of it?
The problem is that most people try to hide the fact that they have a screw loose, or feel they’re going off the deep end; you need to let the others know that it’s just your turn, that way they won’t worry too much about you being “two cans short of a six pack” for a while.
If you find that one of your friends are hording the crazies time slot, you could help them by being odd or slightly crazy on purpose. This can actually shorten the time span that they spend being a nut job.
You could have some fun with this, like go into a department store with this cake-head friend, find your way to a fitting room, go in, shut the door and wait a while; then, yell, very loudly, “THERE IS NO TOILET PAPER IN HERE!”
This will let your friend know that it is in fact your turn to be the psycho- whack job and they can relax for a while.
To reinforce this technique, while being escorted from the store by the security personnel, start yelling to everyone on the way out; “LICK YOUR ELBOW… you, lady, LICK YOUR ELBOW!”
This will have a twofold effect. One is if the shear embarrassment of being with you doesn’t shake them out of it, then watching all those people trying to lick their elbows should do the trick!
The bottom line is don’t get stuck trying to analyze why you don’t have “all your oars in the water”, that’s like trying to nail Jell-O to a tree. Instead embrace being a freak when it’s your turn, you don’t have to spaz out and be a complete lunatic, just relax and go with the flow.
If you haven’t guessed by now I live in my own little world. But it’s OK… they know me here!
By the way it is impossible to lick your elbow, but at least 75% of people who read this will try!
~Snarp
www.foggyblogg.com
