Let's Have Fun!
Well it’s August already… no really… and this month is stated to be the month that more people will go on vacation than any other month of the year. Hmmm…
“Hey kids lets go to Disney World and sweat our arses off!”
Never understood that whole concept, I mean why go to one of the hottest places on the planet during the hottest months of the year where the mosquito’s fight the alligators for the rights to eat you first after you pass out from heat exhaustion!
Not to mention standing in line for a couple of hours just to get on one ride, what a crock! I suppose if you really wanted to get rid of an unruly child it would be the perfect place to go in August.
“Hey Mable where’s little Jimmy?”
“Umm… I don’t know Jeb, he was just standing here screaming obscenities at me about his ice cream cone melting… oh wait what’s that wriggling mass up there above the trees?”
“THAT’S NO WRIGGLING MASS MABLE… THAT’S LITTLE JIMMY BEING CARTED OFF BY THOSE FOUR MILLION MOSQUITO’S… UH OH wait… they just dropped him in that alligator pit… OH MY G… eew…”
“He’s gone Jeb… sniff sniff… little Jimmy’s gone!” AHHH… AHHH… AHHH HA… AH HA HA HA… HA HA HA… let’s go eat.”
August is also the the month of the most family reunions. Wikipedia states: a typical family reunion will assemble the survivors of grandparents, and great-grandparents for a meal, some recreation and discussion.
Survivors? Yeah those are the ones that weren’t unruly or whose parents couldn’t afford to take them to Florida in August! Whew… sure glad we were poor when I was a kid!
Reunions use to be fun as a kid. It’s mostly been held in a park by Lake Erie or some other body of water. One of the best ones I can remember was held in a park by the Grand River that had a swimming hole. It was kind of a lazy day, hot and humid, just kicking back and chatting with the relatives, eating tons of food.
Then it came time for the kids to go swimming. They were all excited after having to wait a half hour after eating to jump in the swimming hole.
That’s when the fun began, screams of death started coming out of the mouths of babes as they all started running away from the river… covered with leeches! Whew wee should of seen them dancing! What a hoot!
Now that I’m older it’s like going to a nursing home bingo outing… sorry Mom, Pops, but it’s true! Every body seems to be umm… all grey and sagging and wrinkly! Or fat!
Well I’M NOT wrinkly! But my magic mirror did tell me that I’m developing some “MAN BOOBS”, and I still look like I’m six months pregnant! I really hate that mirror!
This year the reunion is on my birthday, somebody PLEASE come rescue me before I start a wrinkle counting contest and get clobbered with canes and walkers! Heh heh, well maybe there will be some fresh water sharks or rabid coons to play with this year… that would be fun.
~ Snarp
