The following is a true story, only the names have been changed to protect the innocent. (That would be me!)

I used the Peanuts cartoon characters to replace the names of the people in the story and used the names as the character fit their personality not necessarily gender.  Enjoy!

I’m in the process of moving again but when I first moved here I lived in a one bedroom upstairs apartment and the neighbors were… shall I say… kinda cheesy.

The guy right below me, Lucy, was a Nam vet that was on the “crazy vet cheese checks”, as he put it, the girl next to him, Peppermint Pattie, was a recently paroled ex-con who was in prison for “selling drugs and stomping some chick”, as she liked to say with a gleam in her eyes, she was on the “mental cheese checks”!

Some new Spanish speaking lady with nine kids moved in next to Peppermint Pattie and she was on the “welfare cheese checks”!  The guy who moved into the apartment across from me never left the apartment so he must be on some kind of “cheese check” too!

The guy across the way that lives in a trailer, Charlie Brown, was on the “mental cheese checks” too, and the lady in a cottage next to him, Marcie, was on the “disability cheese checks”!

Hey… that would be “cottage cheese checks” for her!  Get it?  Lives in a cottage…  Cheese checks…  Cottage Cheese…

Ooookay moving right along now, I’m starting to wonder what part of town I moved into!  I felt left out!  I would get this urge to go buy some cheese now and then, but that’s not the same is it?

They were all getting FREE cheese and I had to pay for mine, heck in a way I was paying for theirs too!  Not one of them worked!  Damn!

Aww I shouldn’t pick on them I guess, they were actually pretty nice people.  Peppermint Pattie kept giving me candles, not sure what message she was trying to convey with those.  Maybe she was afraid when she’s all jibbed up on her meds she’d burn the apartments down trying to light them so she gave them to me!

Lucy was… was… Lucy was weird!  He liked to intimidate people but when he realized he didn’t scare me he warmed up to me… hmm that sounds gay, he befriended me yeah that sounds better, he befriended me but I wouldn’t turn my back on him for a second!

Marcie, I never saw Marcie with her clothes on!  Err… umm I never saw her fully dressed… ooo that don’t sound right either!  She always wore pajamas and a robe and slippers, even when she was gardening, so she says.

I would NOT want to see her naked… she’s like all out of proportion, I’m thinking things aren’t where they’re suppose to be any more!

Then there’s Charlie Brown… Charlie Brown was one of those really nice guys, who would literally take his shirt off and give it to you if you ask him for it.  I saw him do it when Peppermint Pattie told him she liked his T shirt, he took it off and gave it to her!

She gave it right back of course and told him to “wash it first please”!  Heh… and he did!  He’s just that kind of person!  Or maybe he was scared to death she’d set him on fire!

Well if you ever come to (CENSORED) don’t bring any cheese, there seems to be plenty of that here!

~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com