In the last issue I brought to your attention the multitude of people that seem to have the “Speed Limit Sign Blindness Disease!”

Nothing has changed with this scenario as I still find myself getting behind one of these morons on a daily basis.  I had asked myself, in the article, “Where did all these Speed Limit Sign Blind people come from?”

Well it was brought to my attention that there are 68,380 more unemployed people in Ohio then there were in January, thus 68,380 more people on the roads looking for work… I did not know that!

This solves the mystery of the increase in moron drivers over the last few months… god help us!

Okay, moving on now to some other interesting things I did not know.

Online dating sites are moving towards looking for potential matches based on DNA compatibility, they make a match based on genes that build a part of the immune system known as the “major histocompatability complex”… I did not know that!

This is interesting but I’m a little concerned about how they will find you a date using DNA profiles… I mean if they ‘match’ you on similar DNA, the chances are they’re gonna be some sort of close relative!

Even if my sister was good looking, I am 100% positive I do NOT want to date her…YEASH!

Well, this tells me one thing… the couples who would try this approach to increase their chances for finding a match with online dating already have something interesting in common… they are both very STUPID!

I don’t have a four year degree in science, but I don’t think you have to have a great deal of scientific knowledge to know that this is some really weird bullcrap.
I mean think about it… you are born with a DNA and it sticks to you all your life, no matter if you are 2 years old or 90.
So if you are ugly as a kid but you become a hottie in your 30’s your DNA is still the same. Or if you are a hottie as a kid and become ugly in your 30’s, your DNA is still the same. And if you ARE fat, or skinny, or BECOME fat or skinny, your DNA is still the same.
In other words you could be a perfect match with an ugly fat midget!  Or worse you could be a perfect match with an ugly old fat midget!  Or even worse you could be a perfect match with an ugly old fat midget that turns out to be your sister…that’s just disgusting!
I am very skeptical and hesitant to believe that DNA will be able to find you a match of someone you find… “physically attractive”.
I think I’ll just rely on the old “meet them in person method”. At least you can run away if they turn out to be… well undesirable!
Which reminds me… never be talked into going on a blind date with, and be nice to, a lady who has a history of severe childhood trauma; as they tend to become infatuated stalkers that show up at the most inopportune times… I did not know that!

And never buy a lady Tampons with cardboard applicators, it seems that those suckers are really hard to install, honestly… I really did not know that!

~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com

It can’t just be me… someone else has had to notice that lately there has been a whole slew of drivers out there that have this nasty habit of driving 10 to 15 miles an hour LESS than the speed limit!

I mean come on now… 30 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone?  And you can’t pass them because there is always a double yellow line, or a curve, or a whole line of traffic coming the other way, which are also following a bone head going 30 in a 55!

They don’t just do this in a 55 mile an hour zone either… in a 45 they go 30; in a 35 they go 25!  They brake for any and all curves, leaves blowing across the road, and my favorite… road kill!

This of course gets me to a whole new level of verbal road rage!

“BEEP-BEEP-HONK-HONK! OH COME ON NOW YOU CAN’T KILL IT AGAIN! BESIDES IT’S ON THE DOUBLE YELLOW LINE, IT WON’T BITE YOUR TIRES… IT’S DEAD! GET A MOVE ON!”

To top it all off these morons will go out of their way to pull out in front of me, even when there are no cars behind me for miles!

“BEEP-BEEP-HONK-HONK!  WHAT THE HELL BUDDY YOU COULDN’T WAIT 5 SECONDS TO GET BEHIND ME?”

Then it all starts again… waiting for a chance to get around them, braking for curves, blowing leaves, and road kill!

“BEEP-BEEP HONK-HONK!  YOU JUST PASSED THE SPEED LIMIT SIGN!  STEP ON IT!

I just don’t get it!

Every time I go somewhere, anywhere, I get behind one of these annoying disgusting people. All I can figure is that they must have the dreaded “Speed Limit Sign Blindness Disease!”

Then again these same obnoxious citizens will sit at a green light until it turns yellow, and then slither through the intersection leaving me sitting at… you guessed it… another red light!

“BEEP-BEEP-HONK-HONK!  WHAT THE HELL  THE LIGHIT IS GREEN… LITTLE PEDDLE NEXT TO THE HUMP… STEP ON IT!

I just don’t get it!

Then while sitting at the second red light, I noticed a lady standing by the road holding a sign that said:

“HUNGRY, ANYTHING WILL HELP!  GOD BLESS YOU!”

Then a lady and a little girl walked up to her and handed her something, money no doubt, and she gave them a hug then they walked to their car.

I just don’t get it!

Feeling sympathetic I thought to myself: “This shouldn’t be happening… this is America for crying out loud!”  My wallet is empty, as usual, so I can’t help her today, maybe next time.

Then I hear an annoying sound…

“BEEP-BEEP-HONK-HONK!  WHAT THE HELL BUDDY… THE LIGHIT’S BEEN GREEN TWICE NOW… LITTLE PEDDLE NEXT TO THE HUMP… STEP ON IT!

What the… “OH NO… NO… I’ve become one of… THEM!”

~Snarp
www.snarpfarkle.com